32 Weeks and 4 Days

Today, I am 32 and a half weeks pregnant.   For most pregnancies, this is an insignificant milestone.  It’s about 4 weeks into the third trimester, your energy might be dwindling and you’re probably feeling BIG, however you still have about 8 weeks to go til baby arrives.  For me, though, this timing is a MAJOR accomplishment!  My first son was unexpectedly born at 32 weeks, two months early, on the Island of Oahu, during our “Babymoon” Vacation, due to my water breaking in the middle of the night for no explainable reason.  YES.  This actually happened.  While yoga and deep breaths certainly helped get me through this experience, you can imagine that having your first newborn son taken away from you only to live in the NICU for the first 4 weeks of his life was heart-wrenching and traumatic.  I thank God every day that he is healthy and thriving, regardless of this experience.

So based on my first birth experience, I have naturally been concerned with my second pregnancy that I might deliver early.  I was immediately diagnosed as a “high risk” pregnancy, and the doctor’s told me my chance of delivering early was about 40%.  From here, I saw I had two choices.  I could ride out my pregnancy from a place a fear and worry and regrets from my last experience… or… I could trust in the unknown, manifest a healthy, full-term labor, and rest in positive, loving, breath-filled energy.  Thanks to my Yoga practice, I chose the latter.  I also thank my friend, doula and fellow yogini, Chelsea Rothert, for inspiring me to feel like a Goddess, to embrace this pregnancy with open arms and Love, and to trust that babies are born when they are supposed to be born and that my body is capable of a full term pregnancy, regardless of what happened with my first son.

Everything that happens to us is in our lives is a lesson to be learned, a way to forgive and accept, a way to grow and expand…  Instead of allowing the downs of life to bring us down, may they lift us up instead.  May they remind us that we are human and that our capacity to love and embrace positive energy is infinite.

I still don’t know when I will deliver my second child- only God knows.  But whatever happens, I feel great and I feel deeply connected to my intention to TRUST.  I know everything will happen in a beautiful way, exactly how it is supposed to.  I also will enjoy these beautiful days of pregnancy that I never got a chance to feel before… Today for example, I’m extra tired, extra hungry, and extra uncomfortable, and I’m embracing every second of it with love and gratitude.